Something Big is About to Happen

I don't know this for sure of course because I cannot see into the future but there are people in this YFC Office that are sensing something big is about to happen.

I've sensed it for about a week now...maybe a short week. And I've pretty much given up on everything old: old methods, old resources, old ways, old...everything and I'm ready for new. It's like I'm shedding off my old self in anticipation for a new one. Here are my clues, and yes, I admit they look dismal...I choose not to see that:

I've run so out of money that I'm nearly a grand in the hole (needless to say, no money, no pa... well, you get the idea).

YFC has little or no money in the bank.

We see God actively moving (biggest hint).

And I personally, have let everything go (which if you know me, is really hard for me to do sometimes...tho I am significantly better at recognizing when and actually following thru on doing).

Everything is falling into place...God is actively moving (did I say that already???).

There is tons of hope and tons of anticipation (as already mentioned).

And we're all big believers here, that God does do some pretty awesome stuff.

So right now its hard for me to keep going in a direction I think is right because I fear that it isn't the direction God is working in. I want so bad to step out and it excites me to do that (like that wild, unabridged, go-out-and-do-it-simply-because-you-can-even-tho-it-doesn't-make-sense, fearless, walk-on-water, who really cares???, type of stepping out). This the exact same way I felt before Australia, before Fiji, before every God moment/God appointment in my life and THAT'S what gets me going the most...THAT'S how I know something HUGE, not just BIG, HUGE is going to happen.

Stay tuned!! ...Project Serve starts in 4 days!! (...Friday).

14 Letters from 8 Girls

Posted to my cubical wall, I have what our Executive Assistant (EA) called my Garden this morning. It consists of 14 letters written by 8 different girls. What she doesn't see, are all the letters girls sent to me prior to Jan. 1, 2008.

Last year, a girl sent me a letter and, if you get my snail-mail newsletters from YFC, then you read about this girl in the last one...it was the story entitled 'Letters from Juvie'. If you didn't get it, don't have it, or anything else, this is what her letter said:

"Mrs. Kelly,
I think I am ready to accept God into my life but it's only when I'm locked up that I think that. I know God hears, sees, and knows my every move. I just don't understand why hey's not helping me in my time of need. When I try to read the Bible I can't because I don't know where to begin. Plus it's kind of hard reading a Bible with ripped pages (the ones from the quiet room). Please help me out here.
Yours truly,
..."

I connected well with her in Juvie and kept in touch with her after she left and went to placement. I visited her last fall and gave her a Bible. And a while ago, I wrote her one random letter. I had lost touch because I got no response back from her since that letter and wasn't sure if she was still there or not.

Well, today I got another letter from her. Here is what it said:

"Kelly Ram,
Thank you for writing me and checking up on me. I sometimes get lonely and I be needing other people to talk to. I see these girls every day. I need another buddy. Well I'm really not up to nothing. SSDD (same stuff, different day). Oh! Well I got baptized, but at first things weren't going so good for me. I wasn't acting like a Christian girl, a child of God. I'm doing better with that though. I understand what God wants me to do. I sometimes have problems but I just say this verse and everything gets better. Phil. 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. My favorite.
..."

Oh that just makes me excited. Come and visit my Garden sometime!!

Second Greatest Thing Ever!

In order for you to understand this blog entry, you will have to read the previous entry entitled 'My Precious Girls' because this is a follow up to that conversation. So take the time a minute to at least skim thru it's content.

I wish I could have taken all of you to Detention with me last night. It was SO powerful and SO amazing to see what God has done in this young woman's life. She is truly budding in the Spirit!

Last week I don't think I mentioned that I had given her a Book of Hope. This is a book we give the kids so they can better know and understand Jesus' life and purpose on earth. The book follows Jesus ministry in chonicalogical order and tells each story one time, from the perspective of one Gospel so it takes away a lot of confusion from these kids who may read a story in different versions from different gospels and not understand anything that is being said. At the end of each section/chapter, there is a review quiz...fill in the blank sort of thing for better understanding. She started reading it and filling out the blanks at the end of the chapters AND, as I found out last night, fully understood what was being said.

Last night she wanted me to quiz her on what she had read so I did, she got all my questions right, even the ones where I asked to her to explain the theology behind the stories (tho I helped her a bit on those). Then she started asking me other questions, mainly about how the trinity works and why Jesus, who she knew to be God, would talk to God while he was on the cross..."Isn't that him talking to himself?"

Two other girls joined in in the process of this Q&A session and they joined not only asking their own questions, but LISTENING to all the answers! I went thru the trinity again, salvation, the Devil/demons, God speaking, the work of the Holy Spirit, the fruit of the Holy Spirit, and so much! Fabulous right? IT GETS BETTER!!! Not only was I able to answer these questions, and gain new understanding and appreciation for God's work in this world (as I do everytime I go thru these questions and answers from girls) but She was answering these questions as much as I was! I could not have been prouder of her if she was my own daughter! I could not believe the work of the Holy Spirit coming out in her life in a short week: her wisdom and knowledge and her boldness especially, in talking so freely about God and who he is to her peers was amazing! Praise the Lord!

I really wish all of you could have seen, heard, and been there for such an amazing night!

(Second Greatest because Jesus is always first!)

My precious girls...

So last night I went to detention, like every Wednesday night. It was so great...and so tragic all at the same time.

I had noticed a change in this one girl three weeks ago and finally yesterday got a chance to talk to her. She used to be bubbly, happy, energetic, and wanting to talk to anyone. She's now quiet, isolated, and doesn't smile much. Everyone in her life right now has let her down, lied to her, or in some form or another, disappointed her time and time again.

So I looked at her and told her straight up I wasn't ever going to lie to her. She believed me because some how she saw I was different than they were. As we kept on talking, she told me about her mom, dad, and her home life and I listened. Drugs and alcohol are a huge part of the lives of her family members.

I read Bible stories to her too...some of my favorites and some of the ones she liked. I asked her at one point whether or not she knew where she'd go when she died. She wasn't sure and went on to tell me what she knew about God and Jesus. It was a lot...everything she needed...she prayed a lot, everyday when she was locked up (not much unfortunately when she was on the outs), read the Bible some (but didn't understand it), she knew about Jesus death and how that was what forgave our sins. But yet she was unsure about whether or not she was saved.

So we talked about Ephesians 2:8-10, Romans 6:23 (she liked that verse), Romans 10:9-10, and how its not about what we do or do not do or anything like that because salvation had nothing to do with our opinion or actions, no one consulted us on how we're saved...God decided to do this, God gave us this opportunity as a gift, God did it all and we only need to accept what he's done.

She smiled. I think it was a very satisfied smile. We prayed soon after that and then I had to leave.

It was great. It's always great when someone is assured of their faith. But when I was listening to her tell me all that she knew and believed about God and Jesus, it seemed a bit tragic that when she talked about Jesus death and how that forgave our sins, she didn't make the connection that the sins that separated us from God were taken care of and that she was now saved because of it. For a brief moment, I wondered what that moment in her life was like: was someone telling her this and she believed? ...Why didn't they explain it further and assure her of salvation? Did she read that part of the Bible and find out? ...Why did she stop and not keep going to know more? I was confused and saddened but glad to be there to tell her that that is what saved us and why she IS going to heaven when she died.

NOT Heartburn

So...after two and a half days, it's certainly NOT Heartburn. I think I actually burned my Esophagus (however that is spelled). It still hurts...and has been hurting constantly since that fateful Tuesday morning...55.5 hours ago.

I do have, have had, a doctor's appointment scheduled for a few weeks so I will be bringing this up to her. She's a great doctor.

I have found that ice cream is a great concept in so many ways.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers...keep 'em coming...

Heartburn...at my age!?

I know little of the "Heartburn" or even "Acid Reflux" but I think I was just educated.

I used to laugh at the tums commercial: 'Tum-tu-tu-tu-tums!" But last night after my workout (yes, still doing them, with almost the same vigor) I went home and waited for Don to come home. As I was sitting there crocheting, I kept getting that feeling in my throat (and all the way down) that reminded me of that burning sensation you get after vomiting. You know the one...the burning form the stomach acid.

...And then this morning I had some of the meat out of the crock pot (it has a timer and I left it on last night to cook). And I forgot that it was still on 'warm' (which to every other crock pot that would be the low setting...my low would be your high...and your high is my broiler it seems) and I ate the bite. Needless to say my mouth cannot handle something that hot so instead of doing the intellegent thing by spitting it out, I swallowed. Heartburn followed...that was 6am, it is now 2pm and I can STILL feel it!

So Tu-Tu-Tu-Tums it is...four of them as a matter of fact. I cannot figure out why it would last this long! This morning as it 'still' hurt, I thought, "Its my own fault, I'll just deal with it and it won't be too long..." Well, four hours later I was still feeling it and now its been 8!

Tums does relief the burning sensation but I just want my throat to feel better! Any Suggestions???

And as for those workouts. The last two weeks have only been two days: Monday and Tuesday (of all days). My last five day 'vacation' from working out cost me those five pounds I just lost:(. Thats okay, I have resolve now...and I'm mixing up my routine so wish me luck!

Serve Update

So things have been moving along since my 'Shaken, Not Stirred' Blog. It sometimes seems like when one thing settles, then something else gets shaken and its just a perpetual state of shaken and not shaken-ness.

I have the girls, their permission slips, 'Ok's' from the POs and Caseworkers and that is all settled. I guess you can look at my co-leader ordeal as cheating but I prefer for it to be called 'Creatively Solved.' My sister is a youth group leader of the church and is going on the Serve Trip as a leader (obvious statement I know) but she has now filled out YFC volunteer stuff and has agreed to also go as my co-leader:). See...you could say I cheated but really, its all within the rules and so I prefer 'Creatively Solved'. It was my idea in my head but my mom was the first one to verbalize it.

There is one slight glitch. If something happens and we end up going home early, my sister won't be joining us and it will be me driving the 18 hours to get home. Good thing I actually know people along the way home.

Okay, that shaken bit was settled so here's the other shaken part: My account at YFC is actually a little low...well, thats an understatement. In acutality, I shouldn't have recieved my last paycheck on time. I 'overdrew' my YFC Account by $617 when I cashed my check. Payday was Friday but because of my rediculous schedule this weekend I wasn't able to cash it until Monday. Luckily Monday I also brought in $1,075 from fundraising over the weekend. Good news there...but that still leaves it wide open for both paychecks in March (don't forget April, May, and all that is after that) along with the Serve trip which I still owe $880 on. Please pray, pray for monthly pledges mostly because that provides much needed stability and also for a Community Support Team to take a lot of the stress of Fundraising on themselves (they're technically responsible for 50% of our YG budget).

Oh yeah, YFC National is changing our name. We will soon be called Juvenile Justice Ministries instead of Youth Guidance. ...Just an FYI.

How do you work this blasted thing?

My mom loaned us her digital camera because Don wanted to take pictures of the brand new (literally) eatery he works at...Texas Roadhouse. So we decided to have fun with it. Don took pictures of my new hair style (newer than the December look last posted). Its now short, spikey, and a 'brilliant and bold' red (brighter and more striking). He LOVES it...if you know what I mean. He loved the last one but he LOVES this one!

So now I have these cute (if I must say so myself) of the 'new' me...and my new hairstyle that I'd love to post to you but I can't get the blasted thing to load to my computer!

I hooked it all up...plugged it all in...and docked the camera (at work and if you were here you'd know its difficult to plug things in cause we STILL do not have electricity to our cubicles). I took out the manual and still cannot get the thing to work (and yes, I took the manual out for the first try). In the process and who knows how I did it, but I deleted ALL the pictures off my computer! Now I have to go back and find the CDs they're all on (hoping of course I didn't rid myself of them accidentally) and load them all back on and reorganize and rename them all. Oh the Joy!

Back to work...

Oh yeah, I've been stuck at 215 for some time now. hummm...I guess it could be worse.