Oh what to write...that is my only battle today

Yeah, I've been slacking. Apartment 9 now has new occupants. Apartment 11 must work third shift. Apartment 5 (which I think I've been wrong on the number...I think I've been calling it Apartment 8...its the guy with the flowers and who I think is gay). He never picked his peppers.

Okay, do you see how much is not happening in life right now?

So Don and I had a fight. I think it was something that had been lingering for a while...it would come up here and there. It was probably one of the best things that has happened to us in recent months! The root cause of all this tension was that I was saying one thing...thinking I was being beyond abudantly clear...and he totally missed what I was saying. It was so great because we finally broke thru all the confusion and it was my fault...I wasn't being clear enough. We got it sorted out and it lifted SO much pressure on us, on me, and now we're much better off!

I remember when we had our first major fight (the one over the laundry didn't really count). I remember a distinct moment just before I opened my mouth I thought, "If I don't get this out and start this fight, we are going to brush things under the rug always. I trust him to have this fight and I trust that it will move our relationship forward and not backwards." I was committed to that. And granted there have been times I have been more committed to that than other times but I am committed to the fact that conflict will bring our relationship and our marriage foward and not backward.

I think this doesn't happen in a lot of relationships and marriages because people are afraid of conflict. People think that conflict is always negative. Its just the opposite...much of the time. Conflict brings out problems and issues that need to be addressed and if you can work thru them and commit to something more and better than the problem then it can only move forward. The problem people have with conflict is that they engage without trusting all the people involved...including themselves. When there is conflict, everyone has to trust and commit to the better of everyone, of the team...not thru compromise but thru win-win solutions.

When this happens, when it happened with Don and I, it makes everything MUCH better. I trust him enough to fight with him and to know that he still loves me and that what we have is making what we will have better. Don't be afraid to fight, be afraid of brushing it under the rug.

Oh yeah, my car is finally getting fixed on Monday. HOPEFULLY the part will not spring another leak between now and then because I'll loose almost all my oil. So far so good and its been 11 days and I checked my oil yesterday and It's still got the exact same amount! PTL!!