Deepest Hurt

There is no doubt that in this sinful world, there is deep hurt. I'm sure that to many who read this, it wouldn't surprise you that say that I believe the deepest hurt comes from those we love the most. If something can produce great good, it is also capable of producing equally great loss (and vice versa). I think that is why there is so much emphasis in the Bible as to where our heart lies. God likes to avoid hurts but also uses it for it's good. That brings me to last night's Detention Visit.

These deepest hurts come from parents.

I will start by saying this though, before I get into the stories. As I heard stories last night, ironically enough, I came away encouraged. I don't know why or even how. So here the story(ies).

I sat by M, who is new. Apparently she had been there before but I didn't I remember her. She was surprisingly open. She was glad to be in detention (yes, it actually happens). Now let me explain something a minute, Detention is does one of two things for these kids: it either keeps them in or it keeps the world out. For M, it kept the world out. She comes from an very abusive home. Her parents split soon after she was born and for the first several years of her life she lived with her grandmother (and there are nasty details that I left out of that story). When she was 7 or 8 her dad remarried and she went to live with him and her new step-mom (again, it wasn't the best situation). Things were bad and only got worse when her dad and step-mom had a child together. I don't know exactly what brought her to detention but she is more than happy to be there. She is left with the feeling of no self worth and thinking she will become nothing (as this is what her dad tells her) therefore, she already plans to drop out of school when she turns 16 (in the State of Michigan, a child can legally drop out of school at 16).

J - from previous blogs - is still dealing with a lot. Her mom recently signed her rights away meaning she's officially a ward of the State of Michigan now. This happened about two weeks ago and she still sits in the corner alone crying. She's still dealing with, 'Does anyone really love me or am I just telling myself that?' issue. She knows she's special but can't point to anything that is special about herself. She's extremely sorry for what she did and I think she sees what she did as the reason for her mom signing her rights away. ...She should be sorry, but not for that reason. I think she feels unloveable but didn't admit that to me last night. She's just a lonely little girl.

At two different points in time I sat down with each of these girls and told them the truth of who they are. I handed them a blank piece of paper with the word "POTENTIAL" written on the top and told them to write down as many words as they could using only the letters in the word potential as many times as they appear. The goal was to list more words than me. I currently have 70. Another girl who just wanted to do it for fun had just over 51 by the end of the night. As I sat down and explained the rules to M, I said, " As you write down each word and see the potential that "POTENTIAL" has, I want you to know that you have far more than whatever this word can produce. God made you and put everything in you, your dad doesn't know what tomorrow will bring, you need to go to God and find out what you're worth, not your dad because your dad won't know." She started and even tho I had to cross out 'lead' off her list twice, she got it and was off to a great start.

It still hurts, but I'm encouraged.