In previous posts I mentioned J ("Please Pray" September 11 and "Please Pray Update"). She had court today and it went well.
Let me back up. J really has a hard time trusting people because of the things she's gone through. Fair enough, and I always respect the fact that they don't trust people because heck, I've also not trusted people. I got to talking to her the other day at Juvie - nothing earth shattering - but enough (I think) to make it fairly obvious that I'm here for her. It was good.
So today, she walks into court and and she sees me and her eyes get real big and she says hi to me and she seems happy to see me. And then it went well...and in a little bit I'm on my way over there to crochet. Amazing...and it was just a little time listening.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Mom
She calls me mom. Judging from what she tells me of the woman who gave her life and the woman one generation above that, I am the closest thing she has to it. I am physically unable to have given birth to her because on the day she was born, I was a mere 10 years old. On the streets, she goes by Lacey. I find her a bit annoying but I would take her home with me. She follows me around like a puppy. She constantly tells me she loves Jesus, I have yet to figure out what that looks like. It isn't the first time I've seen her in detention but from the sounds of it, we'll get to know each other pretty well between now and the time she leaves. She isn't well liked by the other girls in there however, there is one girl that I think she gets along with. So pray for her and for me. She needs some good, healthy love and attention from an adult.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Beautiful Things
Great stress relief, great conversations, and great "therapy" happened with my friends at Dordt while we sat and crocheted our free time away. It was great for me mostly because now I continue that greatness with my girls.
Soon after I settled back into (Michigan) life, I realized that one of the things that I was missing was that great crocheting time with friends. I didn't have any friends who I felt comfortable enough with yet to really do something like that except for my girls in detention. So I proposed an idea to the PD (Program Director) at the detention center and she went for it without hesitation and hardly without even finishing my proposal, goals, objectives, etc... She was all on board (and I found out why last week).
Anyway, beautiful things are happening...and I'm not talking about the miles of yarn that are currently being crocheted into blankets or waiting such a fate. I'm talking about last night, when the girls had their free time. They all sat, quietly chatting, half of us were helping the other half, and they were relaxed. There was no hint of anger or frustration. Had you walked in there last night, you would not have known that it was detention except by the fact that their T-shirts and Sweatshirts had it written across their chest.
It was so beautiful because each one of them, no matter what their ability level was, whether they caught on quick or constantly made the same mistakes, they were all proud of their work, they were accomplished crocheters.
Thank you to Heather J who taught me. Thank you to God who sprained my ankle the day before. Thank you to all my close friends who got married and gave me practice and are getting married, providing me projects to take in and inspire the girls. You are all apart of this beautiful thing (these girls forever wonder if I actually KEEP anything I make since every time I start a new one, it's a Wedding Blanket!)
(P.S. The reason why the PD didn't have a problem with me coming in to do this was because this was done in previous years. An older African American lady was walking out while I was walking in with my latest project and she asked me what I was doing so I told her. Her reply was, "I used to do that here!")
Soon after I settled back into (Michigan) life, I realized that one of the things that I was missing was that great crocheting time with friends. I didn't have any friends who I felt comfortable enough with yet to really do something like that except for my girls in detention. So I proposed an idea to the PD (Program Director) at the detention center and she went for it without hesitation and hardly without even finishing my proposal, goals, objectives, etc... She was all on board (and I found out why last week).
Anyway, beautiful things are happening...and I'm not talking about the miles of yarn that are currently being crocheted into blankets or waiting such a fate. I'm talking about last night, when the girls had their free time. They all sat, quietly chatting, half of us were helping the other half, and they were relaxed. There was no hint of anger or frustration. Had you walked in there last night, you would not have known that it was detention except by the fact that their T-shirts and Sweatshirts had it written across their chest.
It was so beautiful because each one of them, no matter what their ability level was, whether they caught on quick or constantly made the same mistakes, they were all proud of their work, they were accomplished crocheters.
Thank you to Heather J who taught me. Thank you to God who sprained my ankle the day before. Thank you to all my close friends who got married and gave me practice and are getting married, providing me projects to take in and inspire the girls. You are all apart of this beautiful thing (these girls forever wonder if I actually KEEP anything I make since every time I start a new one, it's a Wedding Blanket!)
(P.S. The reason why the PD didn't have a problem with me coming in to do this was because this was done in previous years. An older African American lady was walking out while I was walking in with my latest project and she asked me what I was doing so I told her. Her reply was, "I used to do that here!")
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Kidney Dean
For those of you who don't know, my dad's name is Dean. And there have been many jokes being passed around about my dad and his brother-in-law being "blood related" now and then there's the one about the Kidney DEAN (instead of BEAN) ha ha ha. Anyway, my mom is an amateur photojournalist so here it is in it's entirety:
Pre-Op: Don is in his Chef Uniform. This is Monday, Oct. 13, about 7:00am, half hour before surgery.
This was just before Uncle Jud got wheeled into the Prep room.
Dad is got all the info on the surgery and what to expect etc... and as the docs were finishing up telling him that, Jud got wheeled in to get him started.
Dad's surgery started a half hour before Uncle Jud's.
Aunt Marilyn and Melanie (Dad's older sister, Melanie, Uncle Jud's daughter). Visiting Dean Monday after surgery. VERY emotional, lots of tears and all. 
(Right) Uncle Jud and Aunt Evie gave dad a T-shirt that we all thought quite appropriate. It says, "Only God can give life, but we can share it."
Wednesday (yesterday) dad went to see Jud before he went home. I wasn't there but I can imagine just how emotional it was. Thanks for your prayers, thoughts, and words of encouragement.
A Little Joy
Each one of my girls brings joy to my heart. I'm sure you've gathered that if you've kept up with my posts this year. This girl M (same M as in 'Deepest Hurt' from the other day), I love her! She is so fun. Last night we were playing Uno with a two other people...well, I was playing and she was sitting next to me crocheting. It was my turn to deal so I was going to be sneaky so I dealt everyone one card to start with while they were yacking with each other. Her and I were the only ones paying attention to the dealing. So I pick up my card and say "Uno! ...Uno! Uno!" (the last two as a result of other players having one card and failing to say 'Uno'). Ha ha ha. We laughed so hard because the others just looked at us like I was unfair! ...As everyone knows, you can start with any amount of cards you want...even if you only want to start with one!
Words From My Uncle
The other night, my Uncle Jud who received my dad's "extra" kidney wrote a touching email and it puts life in a good perspective. With his permission, I'm cutting and pasting it here. (FYI: the Evie in the story is my aunt):
It is early Wed morning 2 days after surgery and I am waiting for the sleeping pill to take hold. I have spent the last hour in prayer and reflection of this incredible spiritual journey I have been on these last few years dealing with kidney failure. All along I have been comforted knowing that God had a plan for me and I fully expected a miracle healing or divine intervention to reverse this disease. As the time got closer to either going on dialysis or receiving a kidney transplant I did not despair but was looking for God to lead me. I thought that God had chosen my brother Roger to donate a kidney since we both knew that he and I were genetically a match and blood tests confirmed this. Roger contacted the transplant team in Grand Rapids and started the health evaluation, but delays miscommunication questionable lab results led to many delays and made me begin to wonder if this was Gods' plan or mine. A few months prior to this Evie's brother Dean had called me one night and told me that he wanted to donate a kidney. He stated that if he were in my position he would hope someone would step up and volunteer to donate to him. He had just been to his Doctor and his Doctor assured him that there was no reason he could not donate. I was visibly touched by this generous offer, but at the time my brother Roger was being evaluated. When I checked with the transplant office they told me that it did not look good for Roger to be a donor and if I had any other possibilities I should have them call the office to be checked. Evie and I had many others who had offered to donate also and every one of them touched me profusely, but for some reason I had the urge in my spirit to call Dean. He immediately said yes and what did he have to do and who did he have to call. The date I talked to Dean was Sept 11. He called the office the next morning and had blood work scheduled already for the following Monday. The results came back in 2 days that he was a very good match and they scheduled further testing. Dean apologized to me that he could not be tested the first week but would have to wait a week because of business obligations. The testing for Dean went with out a flaw and they were able to do all the testing in one day which is unheard of. Dean got a call 2 days later that it was a go and he told them he wanted to schedule surgery for October 13.
When I look back and see how when we followed Gods' prompting, since He was working in Deans life and was prompting me to call Dean God took over and made every thing fall into place in unbelievebly quick time. Gods hand was all over this miracle I cannot help but think of how Christ like this sacrifice of Dean is. He is willingly suffering and giving one of his orgarns to give me renewed life. Our Savior did something even more remarkable than this. He gave his very life so that we too can have renewed and eternal life. As I write this I have tears streamng down my cheeks, there is no way I can express my deepest thanks to Dean and to all of you who have held us up in prayer. It is so humbling to be the recipient of Gods' grace. To hear of all the people and churches who have been praying for us, you have to know that this was entirely Gods doing and he has answered all of our prayers in a glorious way.
It is my prayer that this whole experience will renew your faith and your prayer life and if just one person can see Gods hand in this an be brought to salvation then all the suffering and hardship is worth it.
In Christ, Jud
Thanks for taking the time to read!
It is early Wed morning 2 days after surgery and I am waiting for the sleeping pill to take hold. I have spent the last hour in prayer and reflection of this incredible spiritual journey I have been on these last few years dealing with kidney failure. All along I have been comforted knowing that God had a plan for me and I fully expected a miracle healing or divine intervention to reverse this disease. As the time got closer to either going on dialysis or receiving a kidney transplant I did not despair but was looking for God to lead me. I thought that God had chosen my brother Roger to donate a kidney since we both knew that he and I were genetically a match and blood tests confirmed this. Roger contacted the transplant team in Grand Rapids and started the health evaluation, but delays miscommunication questionable lab results led to many delays and made me begin to wonder if this was Gods' plan or mine. A few months prior to this Evie's brother Dean had called me one night and told me that he wanted to donate a kidney. He stated that if he were in my position he would hope someone would step up and volunteer to donate to him. He had just been to his Doctor and his Doctor assured him that there was no reason he could not donate. I was visibly touched by this generous offer, but at the time my brother Roger was being evaluated. When I checked with the transplant office they told me that it did not look good for Roger to be a donor and if I had any other possibilities I should have them call the office to be checked. Evie and I had many others who had offered to donate also and every one of them touched me profusely, but for some reason I had the urge in my spirit to call Dean. He immediately said yes and what did he have to do and who did he have to call. The date I talked to Dean was Sept 11. He called the office the next morning and had blood work scheduled already for the following Monday. The results came back in 2 days that he was a very good match and they scheduled further testing. Dean apologized to me that he could not be tested the first week but would have to wait a week because of business obligations. The testing for Dean went with out a flaw and they were able to do all the testing in one day which is unheard of. Dean got a call 2 days later that it was a go and he told them he wanted to schedule surgery for October 13.
When I look back and see how when we followed Gods' prompting, since He was working in Deans life and was prompting me to call Dean God took over and made every thing fall into place in unbelievebly quick time. Gods hand was all over this miracle I cannot help but think of how Christ like this sacrifice of Dean is. He is willingly suffering and giving one of his orgarns to give me renewed life. Our Savior did something even more remarkable than this. He gave his very life so that we too can have renewed and eternal life. As I write this I have tears streamng down my cheeks, there is no way I can express my deepest thanks to Dean and to all of you who have held us up in prayer. It is so humbling to be the recipient of Gods' grace. To hear of all the people and churches who have been praying for us, you have to know that this was entirely Gods doing and he has answered all of our prayers in a glorious way.
It is my prayer that this whole experience will renew your faith and your prayer life and if just one person can see Gods hand in this an be brought to salvation then all the suffering and hardship is worth it.
In Christ, Jud
Thanks for taking the time to read!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Sugery is Over
Well, three and a half hours ago my dad got out of surgery. It went great and the doctors said the Kidney looked great and as he was telling us this, they were sowing it into my uncle. My uncle is currently in recovery (as of the time I'm writing this) and is about to go to his room. The doctors said that his new kidney started right away and that was great news for all of us!
There are tons of people that came more than 16 as people came and went and that was only one count that someone did. So, thank you for your prayers...now you can pray for that paper I should have been doing...should be doing.
There are tons of people that came more than 16 as people came and went and that was only one count that someone did. So, thank you for your prayers...now you can pray for that paper I should have been doing...should be doing.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Thank You
So the girls wrote us (volunteers) a "Thank You" for all the yarn we bring. I thought I'd pass that along to you because you donate to us: Thank YOU for donating the yarn!
There may be one more blog today...maybe not.
There may be one more blog today...maybe not.
Deepest Hurt
There is no doubt that in this sinful world, there is deep hurt. I'm sure that to many who read this, it wouldn't surprise you that say that I believe the deepest hurt comes from those we love the most. If something can produce great good, it is also capable of producing equally great loss (and vice versa). I think that is why there is so much emphasis in the Bible as to where our heart lies. God likes to avoid hurts but also uses it for it's good. That brings me to last night's Detention Visit.
These deepest hurts come from parents.
I will start by saying this though, before I get into the stories. As I heard stories last night, ironically enough, I came away encouraged. I don't know why or even how. So here the story(ies).
I sat by M, who is new. Apparently she had been there before but I didn't I remember her. She was surprisingly open. She was glad to be in detention (yes, it actually happens). Now let me explain something a minute, Detention is does one of two things for these kids: it either keeps them in or it keeps the world out. For M, it kept the world out. She comes from an very abusive home. Her parents split soon after she was born and for the first several years of her life she lived with her grandmother (and there are nasty details that I left out of that story). When she was 7 or 8 her dad remarried and she went to live with him and her new step-mom (again, it wasn't the best situation). Things were bad and only got worse when her dad and step-mom had a child together. I don't know exactly what brought her to detention but she is more than happy to be there. She is left with the feeling of no self worth and thinking she will become nothing (as this is what her dad tells her) therefore, she already plans to drop out of school when she turns 16 (in the State of Michigan, a child can legally drop out of school at 16).
J - from previous blogs - is still dealing with a lot. Her mom recently signed her rights away meaning she's officially a ward of the State of Michigan now. This happened about two weeks ago and she still sits in the corner alone crying. She's still dealing with, 'Does anyone really love me or am I just telling myself that?' issue. She knows she's special but can't point to anything that is special about herself. She's extremely sorry for what she did and I think she sees what she did as the reason for her mom signing her rights away. ...She should be sorry, but not for that reason. I think she feels unloveable but didn't admit that to me last night. She's just a lonely little girl.
At two different points in time I sat down with each of these girls and told them the truth of who they are. I handed them a blank piece of paper with the word "POTENTIAL" written on the top and told them to write down as many words as they could using only the letters in the word potential as many times as they appear. The goal was to list more words than me. I currently have 70. Another girl who just wanted to do it for fun had just over 51 by the end of the night. As I sat down and explained the rules to M, I said, " As you write down each word and see the potential that "POTENTIAL" has, I want you to know that you have far more than whatever this word can produce. God made you and put everything in you, your dad doesn't know what tomorrow will bring, you need to go to God and find out what you're worth, not your dad because your dad won't know." She started and even tho I had to cross out 'lead' off her list twice, she got it and was off to a great start.
It still hurts, but I'm encouraged.
These deepest hurts come from parents.
I will start by saying this though, before I get into the stories. As I heard stories last night, ironically enough, I came away encouraged. I don't know why or even how. So here the story(ies).
I sat by M, who is new. Apparently she had been there before but I didn't I remember her. She was surprisingly open. She was glad to be in detention (yes, it actually happens). Now let me explain something a minute, Detention is does one of two things for these kids: it either keeps them in or it keeps the world out. For M, it kept the world out. She comes from an very abusive home. Her parents split soon after she was born and for the first several years of her life she lived with her grandmother (and there are nasty details that I left out of that story). When she was 7 or 8 her dad remarried and she went to live with him and her new step-mom (again, it wasn't the best situation). Things were bad and only got worse when her dad and step-mom had a child together. I don't know exactly what brought her to detention but she is more than happy to be there. She is left with the feeling of no self worth and thinking she will become nothing (as this is what her dad tells her) therefore, she already plans to drop out of school when she turns 16 (in the State of Michigan, a child can legally drop out of school at 16).
J - from previous blogs - is still dealing with a lot. Her mom recently signed her rights away meaning she's officially a ward of the State of Michigan now. This happened about two weeks ago and she still sits in the corner alone crying. She's still dealing with, 'Does anyone really love me or am I just telling myself that?' issue. She knows she's special but can't point to anything that is special about herself. She's extremely sorry for what she did and I think she sees what she did as the reason for her mom signing her rights away. ...She should be sorry, but not for that reason. I think she feels unloveable but didn't admit that to me last night. She's just a lonely little girl.
At two different points in time I sat down with each of these girls and told them the truth of who they are. I handed them a blank piece of paper with the word "POTENTIAL" written on the top and told them to write down as many words as they could using only the letters in the word potential as many times as they appear. The goal was to list more words than me. I currently have 70. Another girl who just wanted to do it for fun had just over 51 by the end of the night. As I sat down and explained the rules to M, I said, " As you write down each word and see the potential that "POTENTIAL" has, I want you to know that you have far more than whatever this word can produce. God made you and put everything in you, your dad doesn't know what tomorrow will bring, you need to go to God and find out what you're worth, not your dad because your dad won't know." She started and even tho I had to cross out 'lead' off her list twice, she got it and was off to a great start.
It still hurts, but I'm encouraged.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The Tenth Letter
So I have a lovely collection of letters and pictures my girls have sent me. Each January I take all the previous year's off the wall and start a new collection. They're arranged in columns: each girl has a column and her most recent letter is at the top.
"N" just sent me her tenth letter for the year! She's really struggling because if she can't change her behavior at her placement she said that they would next send her to Arizona to a Juvenile Prison. I'm not sure what exactly that is but it can't be good. She's scared.
"C" has sent me seven. A couple others have sent me five.quite a few have three or less.
I have one picture of one girl's daughter and five pictures of other girls. I also have two pictures of donors.
"N" just sent me her tenth letter for the year! She's really struggling because if she can't change her behavior at her placement she said that they would next send her to Arizona to a Juvenile Prison. I'm not sure what exactly that is but it can't be good. She's scared.
"C" has sent me seven. A couple others have sent me five.quite a few have three or less.
I have one picture of one girl's daughter and five pictures of other girls. I also have two pictures of donors.
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