Thoughts

So I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've been catching up on a lot of reading.  I finished the book No Disrespect by Sister Souljah and though I disagreed a lot with her mentality, it very much helped me understand my girls better (excuse me for continuing to refer to them as 'my girls', I have always understood that they are more God's than anyone's but I still feel as they are my own flesh and blood...even the ones that get to me).  I'm also in the middle of At Risk: Bringing Hope to Hurting Teenagers by Dr. Scott Larson (this is, by the way, a plug for any of his books!).  It deals with the arena of being a spiritual father or mother to hurting teens.  Amazing book and grand insights.  Yes, I have to read it for class in January, but I actually bought the book and fully intended to read it before I realized it was a required reading.  I love it! 

The book, At Risk..., encourages me too keep up work with these kids because, I'll be honest, I have felt very discouraged these past few days.  After all, my intention in starting school was to be better for my kids, better equipped and able to help them in their times of greatest need while also giving YFC the opportunity to offer counseling for kids and families dealing with kids, and now I am not there.  I have spent much time asking and seeking answers for, "Does it now matter if I go on with school?"  or "What now?  I've just squandered my God-given direction, God-given heart's desire, God-given ability and opportunity, etc..." But I also realize that to reach these kids and pursue other passions that involve these kids to a greater extent: solid after care in a family environment, I can now do and will be more able to do in greater ways.  So I've looked at this as one step closer to my dream and goal: Solid aftercare, which is what I also worked for and at while at YFC - meeting with community members, PO's, and networking with social workers to get this off the ground.  Maybe now it can be done in ways that it couldn't have been done before. 

Let us Praise the Lord and Let us, (okay me), look at this as a door that has just flung WIDE open!