Now, what I'm about to say may be a little concerning for those of you who know someone incarcerated by your local justice system but for me, I find a lot of confusion in a somewhat good-ish (cause some of you may be more than slightly concerned at this) situation.
So last night I went to Detention and blessings showered down. That's not the confusing part. This is the confusing part: when I returned home, Don said that one of my girls called me. I was confused because of two things. One, I do not give out my home phone number to my girls as a way of both screening my calls and setting boundaries with them. Instead I give them my cell phone where I am free to both turn it off and/or not answer it. Two, this girl is locked up in our local county jail...how did she get my number? She isn't those murderous types - by far - she's mentally with it so it isn't like that.
I've known her for about two years (one of the first girls I met in Detention) and its a good situation becasue she used to blow both me and God off for a vast majority of the time that we've known each other. When a girl blows me off like that I let her go because I'm not a pusher, I don't want to force anything...if they don't like me, thats fine. I'm secure enough in myself to handle that (and believe me, that wasn't always the case but living on this side of the case is not only a joyous place to be personally but it is incredibly NECESSARY for what I do). Now she calls me. That takes a big of change of heart...a God change of heart.
I didn't ask her how she got my number because in the little recording they have when you answer the phone, there are a few warnings that they state: mostly, 'this call is recorded'. You hear the 'this phone call is recorded...' when you call almost any customer service number but it sounds A LOT different when it follows 'this is a call from the Kent County Correctional Facility...' hummm... [the thought that flitters thru my mind is: 'how many of my friends from college get to hear that on a phone call' and 'is that something I really want to be proud of?']
No one said, certainly not Jesus, that doing his work was going to be clean-cut and pretty.
Overall I'm glad she called me even tho it is quite errie that she now has my home phone number, I'm glad because of all the people this girl knows, she called me. She knew I'd answer. She knew I'd care. She still blows off Jesus, but she doesn't blow me off anymore and hopefully, one day, she'll stop blowing off Jesus too.
In fear of making this too long, I'm going to break here and write again about my blessing in Detention.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Big Announcement
Okay, I told the one person I needed to tell. The big news is this:
I'm going to Seminary. Okay, that depends on if I actually get accepted but I'm planning on it right now.
I also have to vent. I have this guy that I work with that edits our newsletter and he frustrates me SO much...more than any other single person in the world! He belittles my (and others) work and ablitlies, talks down to me and others, he twists words around to make things and people go his way, and he brings out the worst in me (and I know this last one is within my abilty to control or not).
Its almost always over the newsletter simply because thats generally the one thing we are both involved in. The process is supposed to go like this: we all turn in our work on a certain day and time and then they are formated and sent to each other for a proof. We then send it back in to our Executive Assistant (not the one who causes me grief) and then the grief bearer goes thru and does a last check and baring any changes it goes to print. The process is supposed to take a week-ish.
This is how it happens in reality: We...okay, I'm going to talk about me...I turn in my work to the Executive Assistant (EA) to format it (which is generally easy cause I do a vast amount of my own formatting so I know how much and what to write) and somehow it gets sent to the Grief-Bearer (GB). This is during the time where GB is also supposed to be working on his piece and sending it to the EA. The process is tied up at this point because the GB is proofing/editing the newsletter instead of working on and submiting his piece to the EA.
During this editing session, GB "edits" the whole thing (again, I'll only talk about mine because thats all I know)...he "edits" mine. I put it in quotes because his version of editing involves cutting large chunks, adding large chunks, changing large amounts, and twisting my words and meaning so that many times it's part what I orginally say in words that generally don't sound like I wrote them and part whatever the heck he wants. All of this will go on without my knowledge or input and without notice to others that he has changed the original piece. I regularly to tell him that editing involves what one of my other co-workers does: grammatical clean-up and minor word changes that correct person, tense, etc... After he has finished "editing" my portion, it goes to everyone else for touch ups/proofing.
Other "editing" jobs of his were described (his description) as "minor" when he literally chopped half the original story out and replaced it with nothing. On that such case (as happens many times) it was actually brought to my attention the day before volunteers came in to stuff envelops and was too late to redo the damage and went to mail boxes incomplete and incorrect. I was beyond mad, I was LIVID. I am rarely that mad...I can count the amount of times in my 27 years of life that I have been that mad on one hand.
So now GB's solution to this whole thing brings me close to the verge of livid: "We'll have to sit down and talk about how the next one goes and I'm going to leave it up to you to bring this to my attention. You have to take some initiative too."
There are others in my office that share my frustration with the same GB (there is only one in this office). So I have recruited some advice. Pray, PLEASE pray for this because I know its ungodly...this whole situation: what it brings out in me, what it is on the surface, the disunity it creates within the team and within the body, ALL of it is ungodly and it is over a relatively large part of our ministry: our communication with YOU and the rest of our donors. This is also not one of my strongest aspects of my personality. I tend to 'tear you a new one' in my aggression and anger. That is not pretty, I HATE that it is in me, it is something I know I need to work on but it is not easy for me. Just pray!!
Love to all
PS: Last Thursday I was down to 216 and we went out to eat Friday and Saturday WITH desserts (which I never do) and I worked out only twice last week and I only gained 2 pounds...I'm so excited!
I'm going to Seminary. Okay, that depends on if I actually get accepted but I'm planning on it right now.
I also have to vent. I have this guy that I work with that edits our newsletter and he frustrates me SO much...more than any other single person in the world! He belittles my (and others) work and ablitlies, talks down to me and others, he twists words around to make things and people go his way, and he brings out the worst in me (and I know this last one is within my abilty to control or not).
Its almost always over the newsletter simply because thats generally the one thing we are both involved in. The process is supposed to go like this: we all turn in our work on a certain day and time and then they are formated and sent to each other for a proof. We then send it back in to our Executive Assistant (not the one who causes me grief) and then the grief bearer goes thru and does a last check and baring any changes it goes to print. The process is supposed to take a week-ish.
This is how it happens in reality: We...okay, I'm going to talk about me...I turn in my work to the Executive Assistant (EA) to format it (which is generally easy cause I do a vast amount of my own formatting so I know how much and what to write) and somehow it gets sent to the Grief-Bearer (GB). This is during the time where GB is also supposed to be working on his piece and sending it to the EA. The process is tied up at this point because the GB is proofing/editing the newsletter instead of working on and submiting his piece to the EA.
During this editing session, GB "edits" the whole thing (again, I'll only talk about mine because thats all I know)...he "edits" mine. I put it in quotes because his version of editing involves cutting large chunks, adding large chunks, changing large amounts, and twisting my words and meaning so that many times it's part what I orginally say in words that generally don't sound like I wrote them and part whatever the heck he wants. All of this will go on without my knowledge or input and without notice to others that he has changed the original piece. I regularly to tell him that editing involves what one of my other co-workers does: grammatical clean-up and minor word changes that correct person, tense, etc... After he has finished "editing" my portion, it goes to everyone else for touch ups/proofing.
Other "editing" jobs of his were described (his description) as "minor" when he literally chopped half the original story out and replaced it with nothing. On that such case (as happens many times) it was actually brought to my attention the day before volunteers came in to stuff envelops and was too late to redo the damage and went to mail boxes incomplete and incorrect. I was beyond mad, I was LIVID. I am rarely that mad...I can count the amount of times in my 27 years of life that I have been that mad on one hand.
So now GB's solution to this whole thing brings me close to the verge of livid: "We'll have to sit down and talk about how the next one goes and I'm going to leave it up to you to bring this to my attention. You have to take some initiative too."
There are others in my office that share my frustration with the same GB (there is only one in this office). So I have recruited some advice. Pray, PLEASE pray for this because I know its ungodly...this whole situation: what it brings out in me, what it is on the surface, the disunity it creates within the team and within the body, ALL of it is ungodly and it is over a relatively large part of our ministry: our communication with YOU and the rest of our donors. This is also not one of my strongest aspects of my personality. I tend to 'tear you a new one' in my aggression and anger. That is not pretty, I HATE that it is in me, it is something I know I need to work on but it is not easy for me. Just pray!!
Love to all
PS: Last Thursday I was down to 216 and we went out to eat Friday and Saturday WITH desserts (which I never do) and I worked out only twice last week and I only gained 2 pounds...I'm so excited!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Good Conversations and Teachable Moments
F.Y.I. No, this is not the 'Big Announcement'.
I was with one of my girl yesterday and we're reading CS Lewis' Mere Christianity and on the way home she asked me, "You can't tell me that you wouldn't turn in a woman stealing bread to feed her two kids like you would a man stealing a bread out of greed."
"Well, both of them are stealing and doing wrong so yes."
"But a woman who is stealing to feed her kids?"
"Yes, but she was stealing."
"But really, you would turn in a woman stealing a loaf of bread to feed her kids!?"
"Stealing is stealing, its wrong. Would I feel different about doing? Yes. Would I hesitate to do it? Yes. But what they did is wrong, no matter what the motive is." Mind you, I knew we were getting to a point. "You see, God is a just God. He is a merciful God. He is a compassionate God and like you said earlier, we are made in his likeness so because God is just, we would turn them both in. Because God is merciful, we would let the woman off the hook. Because God is compassionate, we can understand where the woman is coming from. There are other ways of getting bread, people are generous: Ask for a discount, see if there is day-old bread they can't sell, stuff like that. Stealing is stealing, its wrong."
And now our relationship progress from coffee to doctrine and theology :).
I was with one of my girl yesterday and we're reading CS Lewis' Mere Christianity and on the way home she asked me, "You can't tell me that you wouldn't turn in a woman stealing bread to feed her two kids like you would a man stealing a bread out of greed."
"Well, both of them are stealing and doing wrong so yes."
"But a woman who is stealing to feed her kids?"
"Yes, but she was stealing."
"But really, you would turn in a woman stealing a loaf of bread to feed her kids!?"
"Stealing is stealing, its wrong. Would I feel different about doing? Yes. Would I hesitate to do it? Yes. But what they did is wrong, no matter what the motive is." Mind you, I knew we were getting to a point. "You see, God is a just God. He is a merciful God. He is a compassionate God and like you said earlier, we are made in his likeness so because God is just, we would turn them both in. Because God is merciful, we would let the woman off the hook. Because God is compassionate, we can understand where the woman is coming from. There are other ways of getting bread, people are generous: Ask for a discount, see if there is day-old bread they can't sell, stuff like that. Stealing is stealing, its wrong."
And now our relationship progress from coffee to doctrine and theology :).
Monday, February 11, 2008
:)
This is a warning: I'm posting big news in a couple of days. Keep your eyes peeled!!
I'm down again...down to 217 that is. I think the up-swing was all about that girl thing. Yay!
I know how drab it can be listening/reading what I eat and weigh and all that...so I'm not going to go into that much detail...especially cause its all usually the same.
This past weekend was a fun weekend. I made Bagels. They turned out good too, I was proud of my bagels. I only made half a batch because I realized I didn't have as much yeast as I needed...only half.
I also made a blueberry muffin pie. That didn't turn out as good so I fudged it. And it turned out decent but nothing I would serve to company.
I "cleaned" the house. It was a terrible job...all I did was pick up.
We have sold 118 Community Day Books for Yonkers. If you'd like one, its just a small $5 donation to YFC and you can get the $10 off coupon, the 8-20% of coupons, and the two bonus buys: Luggage and Clark Shoes. Its a sweet deal! ...and On things that don't always go on sale: Calvin Klein, Tommy Hilfiger (sp???), swaroski, Waterford, Nautica Jeans, Jones New York, etc...
Don's class on Saturday Morning got canceled too. He was excited. Even better it was canceled on Friday so he didn't have to get up early, get all ready, and then find out it was canned.
Thats all.
I'm down again...down to 217 that is. I think the up-swing was all about that girl thing. Yay!
I know how drab it can be listening/reading what I eat and weigh and all that...so I'm not going to go into that much detail...especially cause its all usually the same.
This past weekend was a fun weekend. I made Bagels. They turned out good too, I was proud of my bagels. I only made half a batch because I realized I didn't have as much yeast as I needed...only half.
I also made a blueberry muffin pie. That didn't turn out as good so I fudged it. And it turned out decent but nothing I would serve to company.
I "cleaned" the house. It was a terrible job...all I did was pick up.
We have sold 118 Community Day Books for Yonkers. If you'd like one, its just a small $5 donation to YFC and you can get the $10 off coupon, the 8-20% of coupons, and the two bonus buys: Luggage and Clark Shoes. Its a sweet deal! ...and On things that don't always go on sale: Calvin Klein, Tommy Hilfiger (sp???), swaroski, Waterford, Nautica Jeans, Jones New York, etc...
Don's class on Saturday Morning got canceled too. He was excited. Even better it was canceled on Friday so he didn't have to get up early, get all ready, and then find out it was canned.
Thats all.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Shaken, Not Stirred
Several things... Since the dawn of last week Wednesday, a new paranoia has settled within me at the sacrifice of both my wallet and my driving record. One more thing to add to that before I change the subject: I have never hated winter. The beauty of pure white fluff falling from the sky in various forms have always been the 'Icing on the cake' so-to-speak when placed against terrible roads and bitter, bone-chilling windchills. Until now. Last week Wednesday, for the first ever in my life I could understand why people say, 'I hate winter' because I too, for a brief moment in time (its over now) hated winter with everything that is in me. It was a cold, sad, tear-filled, winter day...last week Wednesday.
Enough of the drama.
*Sigh* My "perfect" planning fell apart today. I was...am, I am...planning on a Project Serve trip with a couple girls I work with and my co-leader (I'm required to have one) bailed.
*Sigh*
Yesterday's weight: 220
Pounds to go: 50
Yesterday's menu: a few small chuncks of fried bacon (and I do mean a few...like 5), low-fat, homemade beef stew, corn and beans, a bagel, a diet coke, orange juice, curry for dinner.
Workout: Four days last week but Monday's consisted of 30 min eliptical, weight lifiting for triceps, bicepts, back muscles (lower and upper), and abs.
Total time: 50 minutes.
I felt like I was on top of it all and was managing everything (finally). And as the day went on, I lost grip on a few things without doing anything. I don't know what happened. I have no clue why my co-leader bailed (tho I do still have to call her back...which I'll do tomorrow because I'm going to seek guidance for the conversation I would like to have with her). That right now, is my main priority: Project Serve and getting it all together. I would just like it to go right and if you're reading this, whether you believe in God or not, I need you to pray.
Shaken is always better. Because when things go aray, its better to start from scratch than have things lingering from a method that doesn't work. I'm shaken, not stirred...the Martini of my life is better that way.
Enough of the drama.
*Sigh* My "perfect" planning fell apart today. I was...am, I am...planning on a Project Serve trip with a couple girls I work with and my co-leader (I'm required to have one) bailed.
*Sigh*
Yesterday's weight: 220
Pounds to go: 50
Yesterday's menu: a few small chuncks of fried bacon (and I do mean a few...like 5), low-fat, homemade beef stew, corn and beans, a bagel, a diet coke, orange juice, curry for dinner.
Workout: Four days last week but Monday's consisted of 30 min eliptical, weight lifiting for triceps, bicepts, back muscles (lower and upper), and abs.
Total time: 50 minutes.
I felt like I was on top of it all and was managing everything (finally). And as the day went on, I lost grip on a few things without doing anything. I don't know what happened. I have no clue why my co-leader bailed (tho I do still have to call her back...which I'll do tomorrow because I'm going to seek guidance for the conversation I would like to have with her). That right now, is my main priority: Project Serve and getting it all together. I would just like it to go right and if you're reading this, whether you believe in God or not, I need you to pray.
Shaken is always better. Because when things go aray, its better to start from scratch than have things lingering from a method that doesn't work. I'm shaken, not stirred...the Martini of my life is better that way.
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